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Thursday, April 28, 2011

Donald Trump demands proof that Barack Obama actually exists

The intrepid Donald Trump, having forced Barack Obama to release the long form of his birth certificate, upped the ante yesterday and launched an investigation into how he got into Harvard University with allegedly bad grades.

Breaking news, exclusive to Balter's Blog: Trump will today challenge the White House to prove that Barack Obama is a real living, breathing human being, and not the result of holographic projections and other high-tech tricks by the Democratic Party, designed to create the illusion that a handsome, politically liberal Black man has actually been elected president of the United States when everyone knows that is impossible (or at least extremely unlikely.)

Obama supporters are likely to find this new challenge particularly daunting, especially since "birthers" have already demonstrated conclusively that the long-form birth certificate was an elaborate forgery. Trump and his investigative team have already found witnesses willing to testify that Obama was making campaign appearances at multiple places at the same time during the 2008 election battle; and they suspect that sophisticated electronic equipment in the White House basement, linked to orbiting satellites, might be responsible for this devious illusion.

Of course, Trump et al. say, the liberal news media has long been in on the plot, pretending to interview Obama and Photoshopping photos of the alleged president, coloring them in when they appear a little too transparent against bright backgrounds.

The White House has plans to counter these accusations in the coming days, and is reportedly considering releasing classified documents showing that "Donald Trump" is actually nothing more than a figment of his own demented imagination.

Update: Bad news, as a result of Obama's posting his long-form birth certificate, someone has already stolen his identity. This imposter is pretending to have the courage of his convictions, but wimping out and caving in whenever he is attacked by the Republicans.

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