George W. Bush surrenders to international court

I am just as shocked as you to learn this news. Early this morning Western Europe time, former President George W. Bush walked through the front doors of the International Court of Justice in The Hague. Saying farewell to a small crowd of family and well-wishers, and with a copy of the Geneva Conventions tucked into his briefcase, Bush humbly surrendered to court officials.

"I just wish I had read the Conventions earlier," Bush told reporters, adding that Dick Cheney had assured him that administration lawyers had already gone through them with a fine-toothed comb and that it was not necessary for the president to take time out of his busy schedule.

Hours later, speculation was still rife over who would represent Bush before the court. Rumored attorneys include John Yoo and Alan Dershowitz, but those reports could not be confirmed.

Meanwhile, in other news, Minnesota Republican senatorial candidate Norm Coleman bowed to the inevitable and gave up his fight against Al Franken. Reacting to the decision of a three-judge panel that yesterday dealt yet another setback to his bid to overturn the election results, Coleman said simply, "I knew all along that I was wrong. What a jerk I am."